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On the other hand, it’s been a poor sports-playing stretch, both pre and post dengue. I managed to participate in our local tennis tournament today (kudos to Kataneh for organizing!). I knew about two games into my first match that I was in trouble, and crashed out in both singles and doubles. Even though I don’t feel sick, I have minimal endurance these days and spent most of my matches feeling uncoordinated and slow. On the other hand, dengue didn’t make me miss all those easy forehands, as much as I’d like to believe it.

Further helping me to rationalize my shabby performance, I lost to a professional soccer player, who’s visiting family and doing cool things while in country:

Joanna Lohman and Lianne Sanderson changing lives

In other sports news, I’m winning my football pool for the first time in ages, one game ahead with just the super bowl to play. Unfortunately this has given me two solid weeks to second guess my SB pick and try to outwit 2nd place Carmen, who manages to win with irritating regularity.

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One of the perks of Consulate life is brushes with interesting and accomplished people. On Wednesday I had tea with Howard Gardner and attended his public lecture at IIT Madras. Gardner, as you may know, is famous for Multiple Intelligences theory. Though my area of cognitive psychology was far afield from his work, I always considered his research particularly appealing, and god knows I lectured about MI enough in all those Intro Psych classes. I even used his work as the basis for a speech I wrote for International Education Week at the Consulate last year. So it was great to meet him, as well as wife Ellen Winner, an accomplished Psychologist in her own right. It turns out Ellen hired my dove-bar eating colleague Jef, who just had his second child (welcome Hazel!). It’s a small world indeed. And now I’m craving a dove bar.

Then, later that same day I ended up at a party hanging out with Rajinikanth’s daughter Soundarya. The advantage of a comparative sleepy-town like Chennai is small frys like myself get to pretend we are medium frys, at least for a few years.

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We’re having a birthday brunch for Ruben tomorrow. Once again Lightning McQueen is making an appearance on the cake. I’ll post pictures of the big boy and friends this week.

All is reasonably well on the home front. To the extent I don’t feel 100%, I can’t differentiate between illness and awareness of illness. Also, it turns out K did have dengue first, and while she suffered through fevers, and had the telltale rash, she wasn’t knocked out the way I was. Then again, her immune system tends to be better than my Faud-like entity (and she didn’t test positive for malaria). But as a result, I’m a bit less inclined to limp around when I see a fellow “dengoid” zipping along with daily tasks.

Coincidentally, I was finishing “the Emperor of All Maladies”, a book about cancer, during this recent saga, which likely hasn’t helped with any speculations about illness. It’s otherwise a great book, written for the layperson (or the former science major decades removed from his ineffectual studies).

Wisely, I’m shifting away from the terminal illness genre, now taking it easy with the last dragon tattoo book (print) and one on the “greatest game ever played”, Duke-Kentucky 1992 (on the ipad, when I can wrestle it away from Rohan).

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Speaking of the ipad, Rohan (age 2.5) is fluent with the touchscreen and swiping, cruising through his letter and matching apps with ease. He’s currently tapping at my 2010 100Gb laptop screen without effect and looking at me like I’m some sort of dinosaur.

Of course I’m able to operate the ipad without leaving behind disgusting puddles of drool on it, so I maintain some semblance of superiority for now.

Mr. Ruben, soon to be five years old (!!), is on a big boy trip with his patti and tha tha to Coimbatore to visit some relatives. He’s away for a week, which is the longest he’s been separated from his bro. Rohan is definitely feeling the effect, asking plaintively “where’s Ruby”, since he has no one around to irritate and then beat on when he gets mad. Older brothers are handy for such pastimes. Ruben is otherwise impossibly lanky, and spends much of his time building increasingly elaborate structures for his cars and trains to navigate.

K just enjoyed a week of revelry here with four good college friends. As we didn’t see them in Japan or Germany, their visit was a pleasant surprise (he noted, subtly jabbing at his friends). Other than minor stomach issues the gang passed their India test with flying colors. Actually, given their hosts’ dengoid dealings, the visitors were comparative pillars of health.

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We enter 2012 with anticipation. We are due to rotate later in the year, moving first to DC for training, and then to Mexico City for my next assignment. One of my reasons for wanting to join the foreign service was the prospect of moving every few years. Given I’d started feeling stale after a few years in each preceding job, I was attracted to a built-in mechanism for rejuvenation. As our first shift approaches I can see departure timings won’t always coincide with personal readiness to depart, but I do like that the looming departure gives me additional incentive to get some things done that would otherwise languish in the proverbial “pending” file.

K, after doing full-time parenting (in a place decidedly more challenging than my idyllic stint in Heidelberg), is ready to work again. We are hopeful teaching positions will open up for her in Mexico.

Ruben is looking at kindergarten this fall, which seems impossible when I watch videos like this. And Rohan will have to adjust to not being completely doted over, as he is by family, friends, staff and strangers alike here in India. Lots of fun in store for all of us.

Photo and video time:

1. First, here’s a snapshot of some of the things we did in 2011: 2011 Krishna family slideshow.

2. On the work side, some of the the cool programs we did in South India the last year. If you look closely you’ll see it wasn’t just Ruben who got close to the Secretary: Consulate Chennai Highlights of 2011

3. And finally one video about a project that nicely connected my former work in academia with what I do now, promoting mutual understanding and exchange between the U.S. and other countries: International Education Week Video

Curiously, I’ve felt better ever since. I’d been bedridden for 36 hours, with a severe headache and delusional (sadly, I didn’t write down any of my semi-lucid ideas, but they seemed really great at the time). Recovered from that, and awaiting blood test results, I’d spent the day at work, not feeling “right” but actually quite functional (if watching clips of the comedy troupe we’d brought over counts as work). In a comparative sense I felt great…like the proverbial hand feels after you stop hitting it with a hammer.

When I heard the diagnosis, I felt a release. “Two diseases and that’s the worst of it? That wasn’t so bad.” Granted, who knows how it will ebb and flow. I started the malaria treatment and my stomach isn’t great. But really, in my world that’s par for the course.

* I’ve taken artistic license with the diagnosis conversation, since it’s much funnier for a medical professional to reveal it this way, not that they ever would. The actual conversation centered more on how and why I was at work.

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As far as mosquitoes, we continue to have a love-hate relationship. They love me; I hate them. Rohan, unfortunately, seems equally attractive and allergic (swelling up and scratching incessantly). Ruben seems to have escaped this fate, thank goodness. The worst part though– my inclination (as with Shirish and finger pokes) would be to say “bite away vile creatures; what more can you give me?”. But of course, the jerks can take from me and infect the rest of the house, so long pants and socks continue as my mismatched tropical attire.

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Yes, like a lurking disease, this blog has lain dormant for a couple of years. Those new to the page should note, I used to post regularly about the boys, including pics and videos, and occasionally spun good yarns like this. But as with many things, when it started feeling like work, I stopped. Not foolish enough to promise anything regular just yet, but I may as well write a bit now since I’ve been ordered to “rest”.

In a nutshell, I joined the foreign service in 2010, we moved to Chennai in 2011, and infectious diseases aside, am really enjoying it. I work in our public affairs section liaising with press and media in South India. I get to work on cool projects on education, senior visitors, and other topics of direct personal interest.

There are lots of jobs where people joke “I can’t believe they pay me to do this”. In my case, I’m tasked to read several newspapers every morning and otherwise scour the net for relevant news; I do lots of writing and editing, including ample opportunity for puns; I sometimes speak with authority and answer questions in front of crowds (regardless of actual expertise); and I get to travel regularly and meet interesting people and learn about different cultures, both for work and on holiday. I leave it to you, dear reader(s) to decide if the shoe fits.

I owe a post on K’s adventures here and of course our eponymous bloggers themselves. Here’s hoping it doesn’t take another two years and a viral trifecta to generate that…

1/14– Here’s part 2 and the 2011 Summary

Our biggest news in 2009 was welcoming baby Rohan into our lives. Rohan arrived on May 2, only one day late, and seemingly identical to Ruben in size and shape, except for his startlingly prominent Krishna nose. Many a well-meaning observer noted, with good intentions, how Rohan “looked so adult”. They may as well have said he had a good personality .

In any case, Rohan’s face has balanced out just fine now (parental bias aside), his cuteness aided by inheriting his mom’s eye and brow shape along with an ever-present jangery (sweet) smile.

Rohan has been crawling since five months of age and mostly uses his advanced mobility to chase around Ruben and/or his toys. Rohan can stand and cruise a little as well, so he may well be walking before he finishes his first year.

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Ruben has had an exciting year as well. Being exposed to two-plus languages has meant his verbal skills are emerging more slowly than monolinguals, and he does show a certain amount of reservation with new strangers and situations, but among friends and family you can’t shut him up. Put a car, a book, or better yet, a book about cars into the equation, and you won’t hear the end of it. He also loves messing with mama and dada’s computer, so for Christmas Santa presented a solution.

Physically, Ruben has already passed the meter mark (around 3’3″), and routinely gets mistaken for a five-year old. This has been no surprise, given his lineage. Other than occasional accidents or cries for attention, he’s effectively potty trained. And he’s generally polite and considerate with strangers and other children, including his little bro. Not bad for an almost three year old.

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Ruben started at an international Kindergarten this month (taught primarily in English, but with some German). Although he seems happy there so far, there are definitely signs of adjustment trauma. For sure, Ruben is missing his old buddies at his day care group, occasionally inquiring about going to “Margit’s” (the name of his day care provider).

His cohort, about ten kids, seems to be bimodal at the moment, with Ruben is spending his time with a group of older boys (mostly age four or close to it). There’s a younger group closer to age two and a half, but I suspect because of his physical size Ruben’s been placed with the older boys. Or, he’s self-segregated to the group that plays more interestingly with the cars and trucks.

Either way, it’s been hard to see Ruben experience his first social challenges. In classic heartbreaking fashion, when I picked him up the other day, four of the boys were sitting close together playing something, while Ruben was sitting about five feet away playing listlessly by himself. Whether he was being ostracized or just hasn’t quite connected with them, who knows? Regardless, I couldn’t hug him hard enough that afternoon.

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Ruben is having some fine moments with his limited but improving verbal and reasoning skills. The other day he asked about why mama had gone to work. I tried to provide a brief explanation…mama works so she can get money…so we can buy food and clothes and cars and trucks, etc. He seemed to like this explanation well enough.

A few minutes later Ruben declared, “I no go kindergarten. I go work.” I asked him why, and he replied, “get money, buy cars”.

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Overall, it’s been wonderful to experience Rohan’s many firsts and match them to Ruben’s parallel experiences of the recent past. K and I spend ample time reminiscing, with both fondness and envy, about those first months with Ruben, as well as our time before kids, the latter especially during the nighttime wakeups.

But as much as Rohan’s arrival has triggered the pleasure and pain of nostalgia, it has also prompted a fresh bout of excitement about the future.

I can’t wait until Rohan is old enough to defend himself against his big bro. I can’t wait until the boys are old enough to shoot baskets with me. And I really can’t wait until the boys can put on their long underwear by themselves.

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The uncertainty about 2010 comes from my pending job offer with the State Department as a Foreign Service Officer. Nothing is guaranteed yet, but I have passed the major hurdles (written test, interview, etc.) and am currently going through the background check. If it pans out, we’ll be moving to Washington DC and parts unknown thereafter. I’ll have a longer post on this sometime soon.

Until then, I can’t help but think how lucky we are. Kirstin likes her job, I’m enjoying full-time fathering, and the boys are happy and hale. Life is good.

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We spent the Christmas holiday in India. I was really proud of how well Ruben handled things. Ruben was old enough to realize things were different, but young enough to take most things–wet bathrooms, weathered, mustachioed passers-by and the constant cacophony–in stride. Rohan, other than understandable sleep issues, did really well also. In the end, yours truly was the grumpy goose of the trip, stricken by illness and allergies. In spite of that, we had a good time.

Here are some pics from the trip. Yes, I’ve finally given up on kodakgallery (nee ofoto), who inexplicably made it easier and easier for readers to ignore my commentary.

India Pics

Wishing everyone all the best in 2010.

The boys are developing nicely. We’ve reached detente with potty training, as Ruben generally asks for a diaper with #2, and does just fine using the toilet (or the nearest tree) with #1. He has used the toilet a couple of times though, as you’ll see below.

Ruben’s verbal skills are increasing rapidly, albeit humorously. Conversation earlier this month:

Ruben: Mine. I want it.
Anand: What?
R: This one (pointing in the direction of 100 things).
A: Which one?
R: THIS one (pointing more emphatically).
A: You have to use words Ruben. You have to say what it is.
R: WHAT IT IS.
A: Sigh.

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Rohan has a great temperament and is showing the telltale signs of a second born, crawling early and generally being mesmerized by all things big bro. Ruben is slowly, albeit begrudgingly taking to sharing, and usually treats lil bro nicely, other than occasionally sitting or lying on top of him. For this, I can’t really blame Ruben, given my longstanding tendency to do the same to my loved ones.

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This first video shows Ruben on the throne. One of the many videos he’ll thank me for posting years from now.

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Although I’ve been singing to the boys for some time, only now is Ruben old enough to start having preferences (beyond appreciating when I say “car”). It’s rather endearing the eclectic mix of songs he seems to like (influenced of course by dad’s eclectic taste). That should explain the progression from show tunes to the Pixies. And thank the flu mist for my nasally, tuneless effort.

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For the third video, a couple of notes:

1. Observe the awesome mini hoop in the background– have been waiting several years to have an excuse again to play ball in the house. With no one living downstairs at the moment, and Rohan curiously pacified by my shots on those rare occasions he gets grumpy, I’m forced to take full advantage.

2. Such a nice, if short-lived moment when the boys are playing quietly and harmoniously. Right after filming, I showed it to Ruben, who watched intently until he saw what Rohan was doing, and immediately ran over to snatch his toys back.

To no one’s surprise, the boys are sprouting quickly. Rohan is approximately 66 cm (26 in) and 7.1 kg (15 lbs). 97th and 90th percentile respectively. Ruben is 99 cm (3 ft 3 in), at least according to the giraffe chart in his room.

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We are knee deep–not literally– into Ruben’s potty training. He’s been going–literally– for a week, and seems to have #1 down. Unfortunately, having watched dada take care of such business standing up (using the awesome built-in urinal w/ lid in our apartment), Ruben prefers this method as well. Fortunately, he is so darn tall he can actually do so into our toilet without a problem. As DPK says, he’s a giant–it’s not normal.

#2 on the other hand is proving problematic. After successful, ahem, deposits the first two days, Ruben has become frightened of the process and now holds it in with all his might, until he finally breaks down and lets loose wherever he happens to be. Although the mess is sufficiently gross, what’s really disturbing is the embarrassment and distress the boy feels as it happens. I would not have pictured a two year old so clearly feeling shame, but there is no doubt as you watch him struggle. Very sad.

The current reward incentives (shark stamps and gummi bears), though attractive, are apparently not enough to get him back on the toilet, at least yet. We’re still early in the process though. And otherwise, the boy is in great form, with a conversation explosion the last few weeks.

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The states were not good on Rohan’s sleep patterns, and thus on ours as well. In addition, K got sick, and the cumulative effect left us feeling unreasonably spent for much of the trip. Baby’s jet lag on return was rough as well, but we’ve gone full steam into sleep training, and he’s settled in nicely, sleeping b/w 9-11 hours at night without interruption for the last week. His daytime naps still leave much to be desired, but in my mind this is a welcome trade-off.

Rohan is both strong and obsessed with the world around him, to the point that he wants to sit up most of the time, even though he can’t really hold the position on his own just yet. And, he’s already started rolling over from back to front (which usually comes much later), so he can then look better at what’s going on around him.

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Here’s an assortment of pictures of us and many of our family and friends in North Carolina, Vermont, and Massachusetts. Thanks to everyone who made our trip both manageable and fun.

2009 Trip to the States Pics

And of course several videos for your enjoyment. First up, the beautiful Colchester Causeway, a four mile trail nee railroad line jutting into Lake Champlain. Beautiful at this time of year:

Next, we live on a pedestrian only road so we have a five minute walk from our parking spot. On Sunday mornings, as shops are closed and Saturday night revelers are fast asleep, the street is peaceful and empty. After our weekly trip to the (American) grocery, I let Ruben run home, and I’m proud to say he can really motor.

Finally, some lullaby time with baby Rohan as he winds down for night night.

That’s the minority of the time though. Mostly, they are thick as thieves, which is really fun to see.

Rohan has a great temperament during the day, with lots of smiling and cooing. At night, he does have his Mr. Hyde bouts, so I have to keep reminding myself during those dark moments of the Jekyll inside. Overall, he’s progressing nicely.

Here are various pics from the past couple of weeks: July 2009 Pics

As far as the video, antics while Ruben and Linnea enjoy a fine repast.

For example, I left my keys in the car last week–very out of character. And today, Kirstin returned home with sweet treat: a tart for her, and an empty bag that once contained a Berliner donut for me, which she apparently was holding upside down and thus managed to deposit on the street for some lucky dog or desperate drunk. Ich bin kein Berliner…

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Random observations:

Although I’m not particularly enamoured with Kobe and this version of the Lakers, with Kobe adopting the cartoonish super-frown after big shots, he’s completed his transformation into my all-time favorite video game character.

Recently finished “Home Game”, by Michael Lewis (the guy who wrote Moneyball, Liar’s Poker, etc.). It’s a book about fatherhood, and all the things you’re supposed to feel contrasted with how it really works. Highly recommended for current or future dads.

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Picture time…My sis visited for a week and got a number of good pics.

And here are a few more from the last few weeks: June 2009 Pics

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As far as the video, several points to note:

–Conflicted brother Ruben affectionately holds the bottle for his brother, all while wrestling fratricidal demons. Jealousy, thy name is sibling.

– Thinking first that I’m taking a picture, Ruben adopts his patented squishy face smile.

– Ruben has sung the ABC song about a thousand times in the last month (mostly unprompted), and is clearly over it. It’s so evident he’s mailing in this performance I almost expected him to check his watch in the middle and say “geez dad, that’s so May 2009″.

– His annunciation is better than he lets on here, though he has a few quirks. Q is coon, W is daba. Random.

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And for the record, have done the better part of this post with one hand, as I try to rock the restless Rohan to sleep on my lap. Sleep deprivation is fine when it’s self-inflicted; otherwise…well, it’s a tired guy sitting in the dark losing feeling in his right leg but unable to move for fear of rousing the (currently) slumbering beast, blogging in part to pass the time.

But in spite of the absurdity of my current state, I love it. Partly for the sheer challenge of it, I’m sure. Nevertheless, all those parenting books with new families frolicking in idyllic meadows ought to consider including a shot of someone pretzeled like I am at the moment. Just saying.

I’m happy to report three of my closest friends from childhood and college all had babies in May as well. Although it’s highly unlikely (and most regrettable) the four offspring will end up spending substantive time together, their arrivals made for an exciting month, and gave my buddies and I an excuse to talk regularly. Granted, we all stay in cursory touch, but remaining truly connected is near-impossible when distance, and quite frankly, life gets in the way. Anyway, it’s only going to be harder now that we all have infants, but it’s been a fun and nostalgic month, and Rohan, Melia, Devika and James are going to hear about it ad nauseum whether they like it or not.

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Ruben is slowly adjusting. He behaves in a most conflicted manner, interspersing kisses and affection for his little brother with tantrums and other regressive, attention-seeking behavior. His frustration actually reflects real intellectual milestones though…it’s clear Ruben understands the interloper poses a threat, but that direct attack on his part will be met with swift and severe consequences. As much as I’d like Ruben to accept and enjoy his little brother, I understand his reticence and can’t blame him.

Of course, Ruben still has a lot to learn. For example, he’s still at an age where he thinks his dad can fix things, asking for dada whenever something is broken. I’m hoping it lasts a few more years before he discovers his dad, though sporty, is a bookish sort.

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Ruben’s rapidly maturing brain, and corresponding verbal skills, also manifest themselves in more heartwrenching ways. The other night he woke up with terrified screams, and was curled up on one side of his crib. When I walked in, he pointed to the other side and repeated “bug! bug! over there!”. Ruben currently oscillates between excitement and terror towards bugs (depending on their movement and trajectory; land-bound stationary good, flying unpredictably bad). We have a bit of a moth problem in the house, so I’m not sure if he actually saw/felt one, or dreamt it. Regardless, he could verbalize what he was afraid of, which wasn’t an issue before. I liked it a lot better when his waking up crying could be attributed to more enigmatic causes.

Parenthood is all about feeling helpless. How do you explain to your two-year old that not all bugs are bad? BEEts me.

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Two videos. First video from DPK, who is visiting and provided her own fail-to-rotate classic. Note K committing the cardinal parenting sin of telling the child what you don’t want them to do (which invariably leads to them doing it).

And second, video of Rohan getting a bath before his Thotil (birth ceremony). Note especially my newfound use of the obnoxious Youtube annotations feature. Best.

Truth be told, he does fuss some during the day, especially as feeding time approaches. But given the nighttime tranquility (finger, wood, yada yada), I can handle occasional daytime cacophony. And honestly, compared to the traumatic howls of Mr. Ruben’s first several months, I’m finding Rohan’s cries disturbingly unbothersome. Ruben has immunized me to the minor discomforts Rohan may be feeling.

Ruben, on the other hand, is definitely struggling with the adjustment. Rohan’s arrival happens to coincide with Ruben showing an increase in tantrums and otherwise common two-year old behavior, and the divided attention has only served to exacerbate matters. On the bright side though, I am convinced Ruben is really trying to like the idea of a brother–as much as a two year old can do so– in that he is offering to share his cars with Rohan, and often wants to pet and stroke his brother’s head. That the pats often turn to thwacks has more to do with Ruben’s excitability, I think, than any overt malice.

There will be overt malice of course. After all, they are brothers. I’ll just try to mediate until #2 can defend himself. Given his current intake and growth rate, it might not be that far away.

But on the whole Ruben is adjusting as well as can be expected. We’re lucky to have my parents and K’s sis here, which means there’s no shortage of attention-givers for our tasmanian devil.

Anyway, here are selected pics from Rohan’s first week.

Rohan’s first week