Sleep is for the weak…or the elderly

It’s been about a month, and we’ve discovered that Ruben doesn’t need sleep. Most newborns, according to reputable sources, sleep from 16-20 hrs a day during their first weeks (what a life!). By our tally, Ruben is operating on about 37 minutes/day.

Well, not quite that, but he really sleeps far less than what we expected, most likely because he’s always hungry. Last night, he had four feedings in five hours, followed immediately by a nightcap of two ounces of formula. As infants are supposed to be able to hold no more than three ounces in their stomachs, he is either a threat to Kobayashi’s hot dog eating record, or secretly in possession of a cow-like internal anatomy. Regardless, that last bit of formula knocked him out for about four hours (thank goodness).

Most days, between feedings, he dozes for ten minutes, and then stares and ruminates before deciding (often no more than 30 minutes after the last feeding finished) that it’s time for his next meal. I wish I could feed him Pizza Hut pan pizza. Two slices of that, and no human wants to eat again for several hours (how can the first slice be so good and subsequent slices be so greasy and nauseating– Pizza hut pan pizza is the anti-Lays…no one should eat more than one).

On the other hand, he may down it like a champ, providing conclusive evidence for the aforementioned cow-theory.

We’re told they start sleeping more as they get older, and his cousin (six months old) is visiting now and gives us hope. Until then, we are your stereotypical sleep-deprived parents. However, it’s interesting how quickly we’ve become functional on little sleep. You get used to the staccato of the night, and learn to pass as coherent even operating in a fog during the day. I’m about to participate in a late evening conference call…here’s hoping I can feign lucidity, or at least muffle my snores.


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