The worst sound in the world

One of my favorite one-liners goes something like: the loudness and intensity of my scream is the same whether I step on a shark or a piece of seaweed…

Infants are very good at screaming as if the world is going to end. And unfortunately, it’s hard to know whether Ruben’s had a vision of armageddon or simply startled himself by moving his arm and forgetting the arm, and the choice to move it, was his. With our water-bound friend above, he can simply lift his leg to see if his foot has been chomped off. Not so with our enigmatic son.

With infants, it’s more like playing the board game Clue, where you figure the answer will present itself eventually, but it’s going to take some serious sleuthing. On some nights, we keep rolling “ones”, and it takes us that much longer to get anywhere. Plus, with no one else playing, I can’t furtively look over and steal info from competitors (the best part of such games). The board-game equivalent for baby-crying deduction should be named “No Clue”…

—–
I read a report last week on the “worst sounds in the world“. Although baby crying was not number one (clearly, non-parents made up a disproportionate segment of the survey), revealingly, it actually made two top ten appearances: #7 is a baby crying and #3 is babies crying.

Ruben’s cousins (a six month old and a three year old) visited this week, so we were able to experience #3, in addition to numbers 1, 3b, 7a, 7b, 12b, 12c and 15.

I think much like ranking recruiting classes in college football, it’s not who gets #1, but rather the overall strength of the class. And with eight in the top twenty, (and since I am hyper-competitive) I’m happy to proclaim that here too we are #1 (besting the Australian pet-owning music teacher with questionable bowels living on the wrong side of the tracks). When Ruben’s cousins come back to visit I’m hoping to simultaneously generate at least 12 of those sounds at once (a dodecafecta?). I’ll need one of you to call at that exact moment (for the ringtones).

Can you imagine what our neighbors will do: Hello, Police? I think our neighbors just stepped on seaweed…

(Sorry Dave Barry…couldn’t resist)

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3 Responses to “The worst sound in the world”


  1. 1 Dave in Seoul Monday, 11 February, 2008 at 15:24

    #’s 3 1 3b 7a 7b 12b 12c and 15 made me laugh out loud! Congratulations daddy! I wish you and yours all the best.


  1. 1 Ruben and Rohan May 2009 « The Chronicles of Ruben and Rohan Trackback on Monday, 25 May, 2009 at 19:16
  2. 2 Mosquitoes 2, AK 0 « The Chronicles of Ruben and Rohan Trackback on Saturday, 7 January, 2012 at 07:26

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